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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Staying positive, damn you confinement

Insecurities.....I guess I'm not the only one feeling this way as many new mama will definitely understand this. Weight gain, bloating, varicose veins and skin discoloration are typically considered some of the condition's downsides. After labor, many women experience hair loss, sagging skin, rashes and, perhaps the most dreaded of pregnancy's cosmetic bummers, stretch marks. Even though I have them only on my buttocks but sometimes it just affect me so damn much. Gosh I got no idea why but it's killing me each time I see those streaks. :( I thought after labor things will get better but I'm wrong. Confinement is way worse than the 9months pregnancy I have gone thru. No washing of hair throughout the one month and only able to shower with herbal water once every few days after two weeks. I felt moody and angst most of the time. My body started peeling madly and it itch everywhere. Especially my sticky oily hair. And together with the stress build up by my little princess. I needa wake up every 2-3hours to feed her, change her diaper, pacify her to sleep etc. So basically I only had 3-4 hours of sleep everyday as this human alarm clock will ring anytime. And it's not a straight 3-4hours sleep. It's an hour-2hours nap. Sometimes while she's asleep, I will take the time to wipe n clean up myself.  Its wasn't easy. Here's some pictures of my adorable babygirl.Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Yes... At 2 weeks old, she's eager to learn how to hold her own milk bottle. Although the milk bottle is too heavy for her, she will still place her small hands on the bottle at times especially when she's really hungry. So clever luh!
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 Back to my story, I couldn't control my temper n emotions and it's was a period I'm having a hard time with my hubby. I thought I was going "Besak". I feel unfair in everything, and very imbalance in my heart. Why am I the one going thru this but not him. And I start feeling angered and hatred towards him. Poor hubby. Each time he tries to pacify me things got worst, I just push him away every single time, because I felt dirty and sticky. I couldn't take it anymore, and I have my first damn hair wash and shower after two weeks. Who cares about the "myths or facts" about washing your hair during confinement. I think I will have depression and go crazy if I didn't keep to my hygiene. After washing up, things got better, my mood felt so much better and I wasn't as angst as before. It's all about keeping yourself refresh and comfortable to have a good mood. And I wanna say sorry to my lovely hubby. And thank you once again for making things better than before. Thanks for showing me the efforts made and being more understanding towards me. Truly sorry, huggies*Image and video hosting by TinyPic